Ok, I realize I have "Blog ADD."
But I am moving my blog to wordpress for creative purposes.
Link here: haneliz.wordpress.com
Jan 24, 2010
Jan 22, 2010
hello, old friend
I reached to the top shelf in my closet this morning and pulled out the black case that I have long neglected. As I pulled the zipper, lifted the top, and reached in, I whispered,
"Hello, old friend. It's been a while."
Oh, a favorite place to be.
Window open,
Bible open,
journal open.....
heart and hands open
to let go of that which I am holding
and take hold of what He is offering.
Oh, to dream a dream here!
Oh, to think a thought here!
Oh, to ponder a pondering here!
Oh, a favorite place to be
.........because He is here
Jan 19, 2010
forgiveness
forgiveness.
blasé and bored by the word,
we roll our eyes when it's
the Sunday morning sermon topic,
we throw it out like yesterday's news,
"forgiveness? oh, i already read that one...
yeah, Jesus died on the cross to forgive me,
blah, blah, blah,"
and we enter into a state
of being a mindless, heartless, religious zombie,
doing....striving....working,
sanctified by a word that we really
know
nothing
about.
what is forgiveness?
what does ii really look like?
but guess what:
to really know forgiveness,
we must first acknowledge
that we need to be forgiven.
(and most people don't even make it there.)
and i'm talking
REAL forgiveness
like, REAL;
not the meaningless lines
we say and hear
to and from each other,
"i forgive you,"
but we apply conditions
in the back of our heads that say,
"yeah, i forgive you...now
but next tuesday
when you hurt me again,
we'll have to send the jury
back out to deliberate."
i went on a search today
because i was desperate.
desperate for the REAL forgiveness of God.
desperate for the REAL forgiveness of man.
oh, my wretched, wicked heart...
desperate.
i found myself
at my piano,
and as i began to play
and pray and sing,
i cried out to God,
"i just need to know You have forgiven me!
i just need to know You have forgiven me!
i just need to know You have forgiven me!
how?! how can i know?!"
i sang it over and over and over
until i had exhausted myself
and my resources
and my understanding.
and i stopped singing,
but kept playing
and He began to answer me...
i saw the shadow of a Man
battered.
beaten.
bruised.
hanging on a cross.
His physical strength failing,
His head bowed down,
writhing in agony.
He slowly lifted His head
and mustered out a mere whisper,
"Father, forgive them."
and He said it again,
"Father, forgive them."
and again,
and again,
and again,
louder and louder
each time
until finally,
He's screaming
because He's so desperate,
"Father, forgive them!"
and then He spoke,
"That is how you know, dear Hannah."
and my eyes filled with tears
as sorrow and joy filled my heart
sorrow because of my sin that cost a Man His life
...joy because i now have life in Him;
sorrow because of the cost
...joy because of the grace.
this, dear friends, is costly, costly grace.
this is real forgiveness.
and never have the words,
"you're forgiven"
been sweeter to my ears...
never have they meant so much in my heart
never have they really been understood in my heart
my head understood...maybe?
but my heart didn't.
i'm can't afford to be blasé anymore.
i cannot risk being bored
because time is running out.
oh, how my heart needs
forgiveness.
blasé and bored by the word,
we roll our eyes when it's
the Sunday morning sermon topic,
we throw it out like yesterday's news,
"forgiveness? oh, i already read that one...
yeah, Jesus died on the cross to forgive me,
blah, blah, blah,"
and we enter into a state
of being a mindless, heartless, religious zombie,
doing....striving....working,
sanctified by a word that we really
know
nothing
about.
what is forgiveness?
what does ii really look like?
but guess what:
to really know forgiveness,
we must first acknowledge
that we need to be forgiven.
(and most people don't even make it there.)
and i'm talking
REAL forgiveness
like, REAL;
not the meaningless lines
we say and hear
to and from each other,
"i forgive you,"
but we apply conditions
in the back of our heads that say,
"yeah, i forgive you...now
but next tuesday
when you hurt me again,
we'll have to send the jury
back out to deliberate."
i went on a search today
because i was desperate.
desperate for the REAL forgiveness of God.
desperate for the REAL forgiveness of man.
oh, my wretched, wicked heart...
desperate.
i found myself
at my piano,
and as i began to play
and pray and sing,
i cried out to God,
"i just need to know You have forgiven me!
i just need to know You have forgiven me!
i just need to know You have forgiven me!
how?! how can i know?!"
i sang it over and over and over
until i had exhausted myself
and my resources
and my understanding.
and i stopped singing,
but kept playing
and He began to answer me...
i saw the shadow of a Man
battered.
beaten.
bruised.
hanging on a cross.
His physical strength failing,
His head bowed down,
writhing in agony.
He slowly lifted His head
and mustered out a mere whisper,
"Father, forgive them."
and He said it again,
"Father, forgive them."
and again,
and again,
and again,
louder and louder
each time
until finally,
He's screaming
because He's so desperate,
"Father, forgive them!"
and then He spoke,
"That is how you know, dear Hannah."
and my eyes filled with tears
as sorrow and joy filled my heart
sorrow because of my sin that cost a Man His life
...joy because i now have life in Him;
sorrow because of the cost
...joy because of the grace.
this, dear friends, is costly, costly grace.
this is real forgiveness.
and never have the words,
"you're forgiven"
been sweeter to my ears...
never have they meant so much in my heart
never have they really been understood in my heart
my head understood...maybe?
but my heart didn't.
i'm can't afford to be blasé anymore.
i cannot risk being bored
because time is running out.
oh, how my heart needs
forgiveness.
Jan 18, 2010
an excerpt
"Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. We are fighting today for costly grace.
Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like cheapjacks' wares. The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices. Grace is represented as the Church's inexhaustible treasury, from which she showers blessings with generous hands without asking questions or fixing limits.
Grace without price; grace without cost!
The essence of grace, we suppose, is that the account has been paid in advance; and, because it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing. Since the cost was infinite, the possibilities of using and spending it are infinite.
What would grace be if it were not cheap?
Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner. Grace alone does everything, they say, and so everything can remain as it was before. 'All for sin we could not atone.' The world goes on in the same old way, and we are still sinners 'even in the best life' as Luther said. Well, then, let the Christian live like the rest of the world, let him model himself on the world's standards in every sphere of life, and not presumptuously aspire to live a different life under grace from his old life under sin.
Cheap grace is not the kind of forgiveness of sin which frees us from the toils of sin.
Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves.
Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession.
Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.
Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.
Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.
Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ.
It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.
It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner.
Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: 'ye were bought at a price,' and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us.
Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us.
Costly grace is the Incarnation of God.
Costly grace is the sanctuary of God; it has to be protected from the world, and not thrown to the dogs. It is therefore the living word, the Word of God, which he speaks as it pleases him. Costly grace confronts us as a gracious call to follow Jesus, it comes as a word of forgiveness to the broken spirit and the contrite heart. Grace is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him; it is grace because Jesus says: 'My yoke is easy and my burden is light.'"
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "The Cost of Discipleship"
Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like cheapjacks' wares. The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices. Grace is represented as the Church's inexhaustible treasury, from which she showers blessings with generous hands without asking questions or fixing limits.
Grace without price; grace without cost!
The essence of grace, we suppose, is that the account has been paid in advance; and, because it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing. Since the cost was infinite, the possibilities of using and spending it are infinite.
What would grace be if it were not cheap?
Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner. Grace alone does everything, they say, and so everything can remain as it was before. 'All for sin we could not atone.' The world goes on in the same old way, and we are still sinners 'even in the best life' as Luther said. Well, then, let the Christian live like the rest of the world, let him model himself on the world's standards in every sphere of life, and not presumptuously aspire to live a different life under grace from his old life under sin.
Cheap grace is not the kind of forgiveness of sin which frees us from the toils of sin.
Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves.
Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession.
Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.
Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble; it is the call of Jesus Christ at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him.
Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.
Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ.
It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.
It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner.
Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son: 'ye were bought at a price,' and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us.
Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us.
Costly grace is the Incarnation of God.
Costly grace is the sanctuary of God; it has to be protected from the world, and not thrown to the dogs. It is therefore the living word, the Word of God, which he speaks as it pleases him. Costly grace confronts us as a gracious call to follow Jesus, it comes as a word of forgiveness to the broken spirit and the contrite heart. Grace is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him; it is grace because Jesus says: 'My yoke is easy and my burden is light.'"
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "The Cost of Discipleship"
Jan 15, 2010
the "c" word
I really hate to admit this.
Like, REAAAAALLY.
As in, this is painfully difficult for me to type.
I think...........that I might actually enjoy change.
Oh, what? You can't read that? Hmm......darn.
The winds of change have been a-blowin' in my life A LOT recently and I embraced some of them (read: the changes I controlled), I freaked out upon realizing that neither my bank nor car insurance company are here in Arkansas (read: some of the changes that were out of my control).
After being so lovingly encouraged by Kim to not "whizzzzzzzzzz out," it hit me hard this evening that change can be a fun adventure.
And it hit me while sitting at the movie theater with two sweet boys. I didn't particularly expect to be emotionally moved by Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and the Chipettes, and that's not what did it for me...but then Joshua, who just turned nine, reached over to my hand, grabbed it, and pulled my arm over his shoulders, where he then nestled in for the rest of the movie. He put his hand in mine and my heart was overwhelmed by this change...my perspective changed.
The word "change" used to be synonymous with "abandonment" in my head.
Tonight, it changed from "abandonment" to "opportunity."
I have an opportunity to love so many here...
I have an opportunity to grow...
I have an opportunity to walk out God's call for my life...
I have an opportunity to embrace this NEW ADVENTURE!
And now, I leave you with this gem tonight......from 17 years before I was even born. I mean, look at this guy...he is ALL OVER CHANGE:
And I may just have to sing it. Really loud.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaaaaaaanges!
Like, REAAAAALLY.
As in, this is painfully difficult for me to type.
I think...........that I might actually enjoy change.
Oh, what? You can't read that? Hmm......darn.
The winds of change have been a-blowin' in my life A LOT recently and I embraced some of them (read: the changes I controlled), I freaked out upon realizing that neither my bank nor car insurance company are here in Arkansas (read: some of the changes that were out of my control).
After being so lovingly encouraged by Kim to not "whizzzzzzzzzz out," it hit me hard this evening that change can be a fun adventure.
And it hit me while sitting at the movie theater with two sweet boys. I didn't particularly expect to be emotionally moved by Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and the Chipettes, and that's not what did it for me...but then Joshua, who just turned nine, reached over to my hand, grabbed it, and pulled my arm over his shoulders, where he then nestled in for the rest of the movie. He put his hand in mine and my heart was overwhelmed by this change...my perspective changed.
The word "change" used to be synonymous with "abandonment" in my head.
Tonight, it changed from "abandonment" to "opportunity."
I have an opportunity to love so many here...
I have an opportunity to grow...
I have an opportunity to walk out God's call for my life...
I have an opportunity to embrace this NEW ADVENTURE!
And now, I leave you with this gem tonight......from 17 years before I was even born. I mean, look at this guy...he is ALL OVER CHANGE:
And I may just have to sing it. Really loud.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaaaaaaanges!
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